A few days ago, I assisted in changing the surgical dressings of three patients in our hospital, all of whom had sustained terrible injuries from horrific road traffic accidents.
The first patient was a man in his 30s who had been on a trip to Punjab in a pickup truck when a truck collided with his vehicle. He had a severe lower limb wound that had improved somewhat over the past few weeks, but it was still in bad shape. The pain he experienced during the dressing change was dreadful, especially with his knee joint exposed.
However, one thing that struck me was that despite his intense pain, he asked me if I was tired from holding his leg up for so long.
I realized that despite being in so much pain, the person was so empathetic that he thought about me in that instance. It made me realize that true empathy persists even through the worst pain.
The second patient was a middle-aged woman who also had severe wounds from an accident. Her backstory was heartbreaking.
She and her family of four were involved in the accident that led to her hospitalization. Her husband was in another ward, but tragically, their two children died on the spot.
In an instant, a happy family was torn apart. I can’t even imagine their sorrow and the courage needed to survive it.
The last patient was a young girl, barely 10 years old, who had undergone a hip disarticulation (amputation) due to her injuries. She also had extensive wounds on her torso that required dressing changes. She had a colostomy in place and an external fixator.
Her father was near her and helped us assist with the dressing, but I could barely keep my hands still when holding/lifting the leg, as I heard the child screaming with pain.
So much pain, for someone so little. She kept on saying “baba, baba” when the bandage was being removed, and I can’t imagine how awful it would be for her father to see her screaming with pain, but knowing it’s needed. Despite losing a limb, to see her daughter going through even more pain.
Due to the severity of these cases, the dressing took time to do overall, but it taught me one of the most valuable lessons that I never really fully understood. It gave me perspective on how people have it much worse.
Sometimes, we think that our pain is the worst, and the tribulations we’re going through are the end of the world. People tell us, or even we try to convince ourselves that “it’s not that bad”.
But the truth is, we never really fully realize and acknowledge it. I think, it’s after experiencing patients and incidents like that first-hand, that you get a genuine visceral understanding of how others have it worse.
The anxiety and stress I experience pale in comparison to what others endure. This realization only truly hits when you are the one whose hands are shaking as you hear someone scream in pain, someone who, despite their strength, cannot hold back their cries.
It was a humbling reminder that our own pain and sorrows are often small in comparison to what others endure, and that in the midst of our own struggles, some strong people still find the room for perspective and gratitude.
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